Nice Quiet Pre-Season Part 2

Pre-Season beers Arrive from Belgium

One day after posting the last pre-season update, Dejan Lovren did what we all assumed he would do and threw his toys out of the pram.  In a Croatian magazine interview which he knew would go out to everyone, he basically spat his dummy out about Saints rejecting a bid from Liverpool which the last time I checked, was perfectly within our rights.  He cited a lack of ambition from Saints as we’ve sold Lambert, Shaw and fellow dummy spitter, Billy Bigtime Lallana.  Lovren also believed in the Cortese empty promise of Champions League Football, therefore proving himself to be a complete idiot. 

As far as I’m concerned he can do one and it’s another nail in the coffin of belief that players care about the club they’re at.  Oddly, Liverpool have of course sold the animal Suarez, so is that a lack of ambition?  That anomaly was pointed out by none other than Matt le Tissier who Dejan immediately unfollowed on Twitter, rather than have a conversation, a bit like the one he’d failed to have with Ronald Koeman at this point, a man who achieved more as a player than Dejan ever will.   The temptation is to say ‘let him rot’ but that won’t happen and he’ll go, for at least double what we paid for him a year ago.  When he goes, like Lallana it’ll be with a resounding ‘fuck you’ ringing in his ears.  He won’t care though, like Pochettino and Lallana before him.

Curiously, Liverpool fans seem to think that we’re reacting negatively to Lovren because he’s foreign and that we’re fine with English Lallana because of the full page advert in The Echo.  Do your research lads – it’s not hard.  You can imagine a scene at Melwood where Lovren, Bigtime and Lambert are talking about Saints. Dejan and Adam will be slagging us off for being small time and Rickie will put them right one hopes.  Liverpool could sign whoever they like and they will still be weaker than last year due to the one man who has left.

Morgan Schneiderlin has revealed that he’s had a conversation with Koeman who wants him to stay so at least there’s a dialogue going on there and Morgan is acting with a touch of class as you’d expect.  The rumours of Arsenal and bloody Spurs won’t go away.  Like I said before, I could deal with his moving to Arsenal but not Spurs.  Surely he’s been in England long enough to know that they are a joke and going nowhere, no matter who they have as manager and who they sign.

The first signing of the Koeman era was confirmed with the arrival of Dusan Tadic from FC Twente in Holland.  A Serbian international left winger who can also play in the 10 role.  He sounds like a ready made replacement for Adam Bigtime for less than half the money, with the added bonus that he hopefully won’t be dreaming of playing for another club this season.  Tadic sounds like the real deal with an impressive record for goals and assists.  He also takes free kicks and penalties so it sounds like we are covering all the important things that we’ve recently lost.  The caveat is of course that he has to get used to playing in the English League which I’m sure will be a bit of a culture shock compared to the Eredivisie.  In Ronald we trust.

Soon after we had the arrival of Graziano Pelle who joined from Koeman’s previous club, Feyenoord.  A quick look at Pelle reveals a player who has scored loads in the Dutch league, 6 foot 4, good in the air, good on the deck, eye for a pass, creates and scores... remind you of anyone?  With his tall dark and handsome, swarthy Italian looks – he seems to already be a big hit with the ladies.  I can’t think why.

Tadic made his debut in the first Dutch friendly and Pelle in the second.  The first game saw a 4-0 win against Hoensbroek with goals from a Sam McQueen deflected effort, a Calum Chambers header, a Billy Sharp penalty, and a Steve Davis long ranger.   The inclusion of Billy Sharp in this tour has been slaughtered by the bedwetters who know best and who fail to consider that Koeman may want to actually look at all the senior pros with his own eyes before deciding who makes the squad this season.  I don’t think he’s up to playing in the Premier league but if Koeman thinks otherwise and puts him in then fair enough.

The second game against Sporting Hasselt, saw Graziano Pelle take all of five minutes to score his first after Isgrove put it on a plate for him and before half time he notched again at the near post from a McCarthy cross.  The second half saw further strikes from a McQueen header from a Chambers cross, an own goal, a Mayuka penalty after Sharp’s chip and chase had been handled and a Gallagher tap-in after a Sharp effort was blocked.

Homeward bound to play against Swindon in the first of our ‘local derby’ friendlies which also takes in Bournemouth and Brighton.  Again we had the full squad plus new kids with still no Morgan, Dejan, Gaston or Big Vic.  Also missing was Steve Davis with a slight knock and Dusan Tadic who is still in Holland awaiting work permit formalities.  The game itself was a tight affair with Saints dominating possession and ultimately winning 1-0 as Big Jos got his toe on a corner and knocked it in.  Brendan Rodgers was straight on to his journalist friend to leak a $20 million bid through the papers.  It’s not ‘tapping up’ when Brendan does it.  Koeman’s post match interview was the highlight as he revealed that no bid had been accepted for Lovren but that he wanted to go.  No shock in that it proved that 99% of what I read on the internet is complete shite.

With the shock revelation that 99% of what’s on the internet is shite, we can maybe take some of our incoming transfer rumours with a pinch of salt.  However, just for giggles I’ll run through some of them with my personal guess on how likely they are to happen:-

Fraser Forster from Celtic is the keeper to address the issue of having a good first choice and then nothing in reserve.  For what I’ve seen of Forster, he’s big and a bit slow and cumbersome and his distribution is pretty poor.  If it was down to me I wouldn’t be spending £8 to £10million on a keeper who is not an upgrade on King Artur.  I also can’t imagine that Forster would join to be a 2^nd choice for a season or two.  With Celtic being our feeder club though (said with extreme sarcasm) I’d say the chances of this deal eventually happening are 7/10.

Virgil Van Dijk is also at Celtic who is a ball playing centre half who from what I’ve seen, reminds me of Claus Lundekvam in his pomp but without the drugs and alcohol.  Any You Tube compliations of players which have been culled from SPL games needs to be watched with the caveat that the opposition Celtic are playing against is League 1 standard.  Van Dijk does look a very talented player though and guess what, he’s Dutch so it’s another 7/10.

A throwaway Koeman comment regarding Ron Vlaar being a good player and the fact that he was his manager for a year at Feyenoord saw a frenzy of articles being published on this being a possibility.  Paul Lambert then came out and said something unintelligible which sounded like the sort of noise Barry White would make if he was gargling Listerine.  I think he was saying that Vlaar wasn’t for sale, even though he only has a year left on his contract.  Even though Villa have signed a wonderful replacement in Phillippe Senderos – possibly the worst defender I’ve ever seen this side of Calum Davenport – I’d say it was unlikely that Vlaar will come to us so it’s a 5/10 as I can see him ending up at Man United with van Gaal.

Marcos Rojo was Argentina’s left back at the World Cup and is currently at Sporting Lisbon and apparently available.  I’m sure we’re only linked because we’ll be linked with every left back but of course – he’s linked with a raft of big clubs so I’d be amazed if this one happens.  Good player though and we can dream but I’d rate this one as a 3/10.  Another left back linked is Dusko Tosic who was illegally signed by the Skates and then illegally put on the bench for a cup game against us a few years ago when they were in administration.   This potential move was mentioned for a day or so and then went quiet so I give it a 3/10 which is similar to Pablo Armero, a Colombian who was at West Ham on loan at the tail end of last season.  He didn’t pull up any trees and despite having a good World Cup, I can’t rate this one above a 3/10 either.

Norwich have of course just been relegated and they have some decent players so will therefore be pillaged and we’ve been linked with Nathan Redmond and Leroy Fer.  Redmond is all pace and tricks and flatters to deceive.  He scored one goal last season and that was against us but he has the raw potential and the pace and I can’t see him sticking around in the Championship.  We have precious little pace in the squad, especially with J-Rod injured so I’d say that this is an 8/10 especially as Koeman has stated the need to keep an English core and in order to do that, we need to replace the 3 departed English players, with some English players.  Fer is of course not English but he’s the next best thing which is of course Dutch.  I was surprised he got in their World Cup squad seeing as he’d had a pretty uneventful season at Norwich but he must be fairly decent if we trust Louis Van Gaal and I think we can.  I question whether we actually need a central midfield player as to me, it looks like he fills he Steve Davis /JWP role but I’ll give this a 6/10.

We go Dutch again with Jordy Clasie who like Fer, got in the Dutch squad for the World Cup.  He’s a combative midfielder who plays in exactly the same manner as Morgan Schneiderlin which means that I’ll give this a 5/10 if Morgan stays and an 8/10 if he goes.  We will be up against some serious competition for his signature though so we may have to hope that the Koeman factor can sway the issue should we wish to pursue it.  The only striker we’ve been linked with is Teo Gutierrez, who scored for Colombia in the World Cup.  At 29 and never having done anything remarkable and currently playing for River Plate, I can’t see this one happening at all so I’d give it a 3/10.

As I write we’re about to play Bournemouth in a friendly at Dean Court or whatever it’s called these days.  A majority of fans on both sides, see this for what it is, just a friendly between two local sides gearing up for the season.  There are some knobs who are seeing it as a battle for South Coast Supremacy though.  Yawn.  I expect there will be some booing of our players by the Cherries massive but they’ll get a lesson in how to boo a Saints player if Dejan Lovren makes an appearance.  I really hope he does, just show he can find out just what a dick he’s been.

UPDATE:

The Bournemouth game happened and we won 1-0 with a decent goal from Lloyd Isgrove who got in front of his defender and flicked home a very good header from a wonderful Clyne cross.  A headed winner from a player who is 5 foot 4 at best.  The Cherries didn’t really threaten the goal at all for the rest of the game aside from a disallowed effort late on.  They did however have Kermorgant who spat his dummy right out when he came off worse in a 50/50 with Jose Fonte.

The game was overshadowed though by two bits of news.  First was that Dejan the Dick was having a medical at Liverpool and the discovery of a large penis in the middle of his forehead wasn’t going to put them off signing him.  This was confirmed a couple of days afterwards and off he went – it was his ‘dream’ to sign for Liverpool – heard it all before mate, fuck off.  Well, we knew this one was coming but the next one wasn’t on the agenda at all.  Calum Chambers missed the Bournemouth matches because he was ‘ill’ said the official club spokesman.  Ill my arse as he was finalising a move to Arsenal.  I guess it was only a matter of time before the master Child Catcher Arsene Fucking Wenger got in on the act.  The fee reported is anywhere between £11 million and £18 million.  Frankly, the fee doesn’t matter – it’s a step too far for many.

Rumour has it that he had a continental style release clause in his contract if a club in the Champions League came in for him which is the only thing that could make this sale make sense from a Siants point of view.  If this is true then it makes a mockery of Cortese’s statement that everyone would have stayed if he was still there.  Bullshit. 

Assuming Chambers moves, it is gut-wrenchingly disappointing.  We can’t even finish 8^th in the Prem and hold onto a player who has played half a season at 19 years old.  What’s the fucking point?  Three months ago we’re getting praised for being the saviours of English football cos we play the English youth and then what happens.  Fucking pillaged by clubs who have the MO of “don’t bother developing players, we have so much money we can just throw stupid amounts of cash at it”.  The ultimate piss take is that we appear to be being offered Serge Gnabry, a young Arsenal winger in return on loan.  So, they sign our English young player who we’ve developed since he was 8 and then they lend us one of their foreign kids to develop for them because they can’t be bothered.  Fuck you Arsene, fuck you Premier League.  On the back of a disastrous World Cup, the English national team will now see another of it’s potential stars going to Arsenal and disappearing for three years before emerging no better than he was as he’ll have 50 less games under his belt.  Chambers could potentially have been England’s right back by the end of next season but not now.  I laughably saw it reported that Arsenal see him as a centre back or midfielder as well.  As if Arsenal are going to play him at centre back or in midfield where they have approximately 400 players.  You’re not going to play Calum – you’re back up to Debuchy who is a full France international.  Do you care – probably not – you can ponder what to spend all your money on whilst sitting in the stands or on the bench.

And breathe…

We’ve received approximately $90 million for players we spent approximately £9 million on.  The only problem is that they’ve all left at once and of course it might not be over yet with Schneiderlin almost certain to go and even our crippled player, J-Rod, being subject to the usual Brendan Twat Rodgers ‘tapping up by media’ ploy.  We have 3 weeks before the season starts and we need to get some players in now.  Despite the ‘oh so funny’ jokes going round – we have a decent starting XI, even if Morgan leaves but we don’t have a lot behind it.  A team of Boruc / Clyne, Fonte, Yoshida, Targett/ Corky, Vic, Davis / Gaston, Tadic, Pelle is not bad at all.  Aside from JWP, there’s not a lot else in the squad who you could throw in with any confidence.  We obviously will get players in (we need between 5 and 8) but we need to do it now and even so, I see us loitering around the lower mid table region as things stand.

Also - there's been no statement from Uncle Les as yet.  The last one was that no one would be sold.  no wonder he's keeping quiet....

KARMA UPDATE:

Adam Lallana injured for 6 weeks. No comment.  Luke Shaw in 'twat on Twitter' shocker.

FURTHER UPDATE:

Chambers moved to Arsenal.  Well - it was never going to fall through was it?

World Cup 2014 Part 12 - Supporting Germany is not Natural!

Outside the Box but Still a Red Card (but not against Brazil)

12/7/14

3^rd/4^th Place Playoff

Brazil 0 Netherlands 3

This is usually the game where no one gives a shite about the result and both teams play all the reserves and just want to get it out of the way and go home.  Brazil are already home which is why this game actually mattered to them and I guess it mattered to The Dutch as it was van Gaal’s last game in charge before taking charge of Manchester’s second club.  The question was if Brazil would be a train wreck after the 7-1 drubbing they got off the Germans and within 90 seconds we had our answer as Robben broke through and Thiago Silva grabbed him and wrestled him to the ground as he burst into the box.  It’s got to be a red card but the only question is whether it’s inside or outside the box.  Refeenho gives the penalty and books him and in doing so, manages to get both decisions wrong.  Anyway, up steps RVP and 1-0.  A repeat of the German dicking was on the cards after 10 minutes when a terrible clearing header from Luiz went straight to Daley Blind who was stood on the penalty spot on his own and he lashed it into the roof of the net.  Brazil showed no real signs of getting back into it, even without Hulk and Fred who had been dropped for being abysmal footballers.  Oscar was still playing though and he managed to get booked for a dive.  It’s an odd one as Daley Blind clearly fouled him but Oscar had dragged his feet and was already going down before contact.  If he’d kept running, it's a clear foul but I’m glad the ref booked him as he was looking to cheat.  The game chuntered on uneventfully until the last minute when Wijnaldum fired into the net for 3-0 to prove what we all expected – that Brazil are piss poor.

Five minutes later, an Argentinian clattered him

13/7/14

World Cup Final

Germany 1 Argentina 0 (aet)

For the biggest game in the World, you have your tactics and you know what you team is going to be and then someone gets injured in the warm up. So Khedira was out and Krammer was in.  The new guy was involved in the first major incident of the game as Garay came across to clear and nearly took Krammer’s head off with his shoulder as he ran past.  It didn’t look deliberate to be fair but Jesus, did he hit him hard.  You really want that to happen to someone like Pepe or Cristiano Ronaldo.  The game itself is exactly as predicted with the Germans dominating possession and Argentina sitting back, trying to get the ball to Messi and hoping that he does something.  They are creating the better chances when they do get the ball and an appalling back header by Kroos puts Higuain through on goal.  As he reached the edge of the box and took aim, time stood still and I wondered if he was going to prove me wrong as everytime I’ve seen him play he’s looked like a slow donkey who doesn’t deserve his massive reputation.  1-0 to me but not 1-0 to Argentina as he shanked it horribly wide.  Allegedly a world class striker with a 1v1 with the keeper from 18 yards?  Sorry – that was shit.

Ten minutes later and Argentina broke down the right through Lavezzi and his excellent cross was met by Higuain and this time he buried it, only this time he was a couple of yards offside.  Messi wasn't doing much but when he did, he burned past Hummels before seeing Schweinsteiger clear his cross.

Maybe this Argentina pressure is due to the fact that Germany are playing with 10 as Krammer still doesn’t know what day it is and he comes off and is replaced with Schurrle which on the face of it, is an attacking substitution.  The final two chances of the half fall to Germany with Schurrle blasting a shot striaight at Romero who parried it away and then right on half time, a corner was swung in and Howedes go up superbly and from 5 yards, smacked his header against the post.You have to score from there…. But 0-0.

The second half starts well for Argentina and Messi is through on left but he screws his shot past Neuer and past the far post.  The best German chance fell to Kroos but his sidefooted effort from an Ozil pull back was shocking in the extreme and just dribbled wide.  Palacio and his rat tail hair statement is on for Higuain who in addition to missing a sitter has got Neuer’s knee in the face as he came out and punched a ball.  With the 90 minute mark approaching, the clearly knackered Miroslav Klose is replace with Mario Gotze.

The first half of extra time is quite cagey and Argentina have definitely settled for penalties.  They have a decent chance though as Palicio and his rat get through but when presented with Neuer flying out, he shites himself and lobs wide.  I’ve given Bastian Schweinsteiger some stick before, mainly for being the archetypal German with the most German name you could possibly have but fair’s fair – he’s some player.  His latest challenge is to not react as the Argentinians line up to kick the shit out of him.  The worst incident is Aguero going up for a header and just smashing him in the face.  The referee predictably doesn’t send Aguero off and the commentators predictably blather on about him “not being that type of player”.  The blood pouring out of Schweinsteiger’s cheek suggests otherwise.

On 113 minutes it happens as Schurrle gets away down the left and his cross curls to Gotze who controls and swivels and volleys into the net past Romero in one movement.  When he emerges from the pile of bodies, the look on his face is one of “what the fuck just happened” and is similar to the look on Krammer’s face when he got smashed in the head.  Argentina have got nothing but they do get a free kick in the 120^th minute.  After a long wait, Messi launches the free kick miles over the bar.  It was the first time I’d noticed him for about an hour.

After the final whistle we had the interminable wait for the presentation.  First up was Manuel Neuer to collect the award for best keeper, then it was player of the tournament time and up went Muller, no Schweinsteiger, no Lahm, no Robben, no James Rodriguez…. MESSI – fuck off.  OK, he was decent in the group stages when they had an easy group but nothing since.  Is that award sponsored by his mum or something?  Ridiculous.

Anyway, up went the German team and then the party started.  With an average age of about 24, it’s quite scary for the future.

And so it came to pass that 32 teams turned up to play in the World Cup and the best team won and they totally deserved it.  They had an injury in the warm-up, an injury to his replacement, a change of tactics, some more substitutions and they still won.  The first European team to win the World Cup in South America – and beating  Brazil and Argentina on the way.  It doesn’t get much better than that.  The big sides who they beat on their way to lifting the World Cup were the South American giants and Portugal, three sides who are more or less, through Messi, Neymar and Ronaldo, one man teams.  The Germans are an 11 man team, 23 man squad.  That’s why they won it and deservedly so.  It felt odd supporting Gremany in a game but there’s so much to admire about them that you can’t help but be impressed…. And Beckham had his kids there in Argentina kits.  Probably some sort of symbolic gesture… a man of your profile should have some awareness ... you complete knob.

Usually I’d use that Beckham link to lead into writing about England here and how we can hope to compete but we’re not worthy of being on the same page as the Germans.  We are light years behind.  In 2000 when both teams got knocked out of the Euros in the group stages, both teams were shit but only one did anything about it – they reviewed, came up with a plan, the Bundesliga bought into it and 14 years later they win the World Cup.  We got Sven and basically did nothing whilst allowing the Premier League and Sky to dictate everything.  The truth hurts but at the end of the day, it’s the truth.  The Germans are travelling home with the World Cup and we are still shit.

Next up is the Euros in 2016 in France.  Spain & Italy will come again, Netherlands will be there or there abouts, Belgium will be a dark horses and England will be nowhere.  Germany will take some stopping.

Mario Gotze had a good day.

World Cup 2014 Part 11 - If Carlsberg did Opposition Centre Backs...

Scolari had 7 in the Sweepstake

8/7/14

Semi Finals

Brazil 1 Germany 7 (SEVEN)

All anyone was focussing on was how Brazil would replace Neymar and they all wore ‘Forca Neymar’ caps which made them look stupid.  A ‘Forca Thiago’ cap would have been a much better investment as the main man in the defence was always going to be more missed against the Germans.  David Luiz even held up Neymar’s shirt for the national anthem.  Knob.  I rarely listen to the TV pundits but Alan Hansen said before the game that Luiz “doesn’t have an ounce of communication in him”, clearly implying that he defence would be a shambles without their leader.  How right he was.  You also wondered where Brazil were going to find a goal from without Neymar and relying on Hulk and Fred or “Can’t Shoot” and “Won’t Move” as they should be known.

After 10 fairly even minutes, Germany won a corner and swung it into the box.  Germany’s best player Thomas Muller was totally unmarked about 8 yards out, right in the middle of the goal and just cushioned a volley into the net.  David Luiz was supposed to be marking him but was nowhere to be seen.  I went to the pub at this point and was at the bar, just as Klose had a free shot from 10 yards which Cesar parried out and then another free shot which he rolled into the net. 2-0 and the camera pans to aghast looking Brazilian people in the crowd.

By the time I’d finished getting served and sat down, it was 4-0.  At 2-0, what you should do is say “we’re going to get to half time at 2-0 down, chat from the manager and come out firing, get an early goal back and who knows”.  You’re still in the game at 2-0 but you’re not if you do what Brazil did next.  Marcelo went wandering off up the wing and no defensive cover was forthcoming from the pathetic Bernard.  Lahm’s cross was missed by Fernandinho and Kroos steamed in and smashed it past Cesar for 3-0.  Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse / funnier / humiliating / shocking – Brazil kicked off, passed it back through Luiz to Dante who fed it into Fernandinho who lost the ball to Khedira, Khedira to Kroos, Kroos to Khedira and back again, sidefoot, 4-0.  I can’t remember ever seeing something more ridiculous on a football pitch anywhere, let alone from the home team in a World Cup Semi Final.  What you need now if for your main central defender and captain to turn his back on a 50/50 challenge like a complete fucking pussy and allow Khedira to win it, play a 1-2 with Ozil and pass another on into the net for 5-0.  Half time... what the fuck.  Luiz is great with the snidey elbow in the face on the blindside of the ref but when it comes to actually doing his job and making a tackle in plain sight – forget it.

All Scolari could do was damage limitation and maybe take some of his shit players off so that meant the end of Hulk and Fernandinho for Ramires and Paulinho respectively.  Go and score 6 lads...  The second half was a bit half paced as Germany just passed it around.  No one was going to risk getting booked or copping a bad tackle so it was all a bit stand-offish until Germany brought on Schurrle for Klose.  Schurrle obviously wants to play in the final and with 10 minutes of coming on he got himself on the end of another right wing move around Marcelo and put it past Cesar for 6-0.  7 up wasn’t long in coming and this was possibly the best goal of the lot in terms of the finish as Schurrle crashed it first time, off the underside of the bar from the near post

It should have been 8-0 as Ozil was clean through with just Cesar to beat but he rolled it wide and he was made to pay, sort of, as Brazil went straight up the other end and Oscar got to blast one past Neuer from point blank range to make it 7-1. 

Make no mistake, Germany were excellent and back to their ruthlessly efficient best but Brazil were fucking terrible.  It was like watching the worst school kids team when their manager is just yelling at them for being shit.  There was no plan and no discipline and it was basically just a fucking shambles which has to go down to Scolari.  David Luiz proved Alan Hansen correct with quite possibly the worst captains’ performance ever.  I guess as a captain you can lead by word or deed or preferably both but leading by ‘none of the above’ really isn’t going to cut it in a World Cup Semi Final when your team is struggling.  Lots of tears all round from all the players but to be honest, 7-1 flattered Brazil.  Germany eased off in the second half and regardless of this, Ozil missing a sitter was all that stopped it being 8-0 anyway.  The biggest shame was the way that Brazil played in the tournament as a whole.  Too many piss-poor players – how does Bernard and Hulk get picked ahead of Coutinho -  and their strong arm tactics combined with Refereenho mean that not many tears will have been shed outside of Brazil itself.  They’ve managed to go from the team everybody love to the opposite.

Netherlands 0 Argentina 0 (Argentina win 4-2 on penalties)

It was always gong to be a case of after the Lord Mayor’s show and within 5 minutes you could see that this was going to be a tactical battle between two teams who were reluctant to open out and go for it.  Argentina rely solely on Messi doing something whereas the Dutch just want to use Robben’s pace.  I think I fell asleep in the first half.  There were that few incidents of note and one shot from free kick which Messi put straight at Cillessen.  The second half was different in that it was even worse.  Extra time was a little bit better with Robben actually having a shot and Cillessen made a coupe of routine saves but it was always going to go to penalties.  Van Gaal, praised for the keeper substitution in the last round, had made all 3 subs including taking off van Persie who took the first penalty for them in the last round penalty win against Costa Rica. 

The first penalty is so important and really needs your best penalty taker.  The Dutch sent up Ron Vlaar and the Argies sent up Messi.  Vlaar’s kick was crap and straight down the middle and an easy save for Romero and by the time Romero had pulled off a decent save from Sneijder’s kick and then Aguero scored, it was 3-1 to the Argies and the game was nearly up.  Kuyt scored, Rodriguez scored and game over.  The Netherlands best penalty taker, Huntelaar, never even got to take one.  Maybe van Gaal isn’t so much of a genius after all.  More evidence is in that the Dutch haven’t scored for 240 minutes in open play.   You could see why he put Krul in goal for the penalties in the last round – it turns out that Cillesen has never saved one ever and you could see why as he kind of collapsed in on himself with every penalty.  It turned out later that two Dutch players bottled taking the first kick which is why Vlaar ended up taking one so he can be excused but they should have got Huntelaar on the first one and worried about the 5^th if they were still in it.

So – we have Europe against South America in the final and I’ll be hoping Europe win through Germany.  I remember sitting down to watch the final in 1986 when it was these two teams and as it was post-Hand of Bastard, it was an easy decision to make as to who to support…. Not the mention the Falklands thing.  In the 1990 final, Germany had just knocked England out and Klinsmann was at his diving bastard worst and the Argies were a piss-boring team of thugs with a fading Maradona who was public enemy number 1.  In 1990 I wanted both to lose.

What we really need in the 2014 final is an early German goal or else I can see it being another bore-fest as the Germans mark Messi out of the game and Argentina play 9 at the back.  Before that though there is the 3^rd place playoff or the ‘Not Give a Shit’ match which will see all the squad players from the Netherlands play against the strongest team Brazil can possibly put out.

World Cup 2014 Part 10 - Brazilian Hacking Enquiry

David Luiz points out who Brazil kicked the shit out of

4/7/14

Quarter Finals

France 0 Germany 1

 Before this game, my humble opinion was that France were a really good bet to win the World Cup as they don’t have any obvious weaknesses but first they have to get past Ze Germans and with Ze Germans it is psychological as they always reach the semi final.   France have the first half chance as Benzema sidefooted wastefully wide and on 12 minutes he was made to pay as Kroos curled in a free kick and Hummels got up and flicked it in giving Lloris no chance.  You sensed that France would ned a quick response and Neuer had to save well from Valbuena and then comfortably from Benzema who looked like he was having one of those games which makes you wonder why the hell he’s so highly rated.  The second half saw half chances come and go for France without ever really testing Neuer and Germany should have wrapped it up on the break as Ozil got down the let and put in on a plate for Schurrle who passed it straight to the keeper in really piss-poor fashion.   With time running but, Benzema got through again but was too wide and his shot was easily beaten away by Neuer.  The four players screming for a pass in the middle were not impressed.  A poor game, a poor performance from France and a professional job done by ze Germans.  “Professional” means much rolling around and timewasting, by the way.

Brazil 2 Colombia 1

Thin Brazil and you think of the beautiful game.  There has always been a harder edge to their game but now it’s almost tat he exclusion of anything beautiful.  The tactics they emplyed in this game was to basically target James Rodriguez and kick the hell out of him.  Of course, this should be allowed to work because the referee will stamp it out but there’s a new concept in this tournament – it’s called Refereenho who basically allows Brazil to get away with murder.  Paulinho should have been booked after five minutes and Fernandinho after 10.  Off the ball blocks were ignored and Rodriguez in particular spent the first half sitting on the ground wondering what had just hit him.  Brazil went 1-0 up on 8 minutes as Sanchez completely dozed off at the back post and a flick on was easily converted by Thiago Silva.  The kicking continued, not only on Rodriguez but on Cuadrado and still the cards stayed in the pocket, except for when Silva got booked for stopping the keeper rolling it out quickly.  He should have drop kicked him in the chest as that would be allowed.  Colombia offered little up front as it had been kicked out of them. 

The second half started better for Colombia and the old man of the side, Yepes, had the ball in the net only for it to be ruled out for an earlier offside.  Up the park went Brazil and disbelief all around as Rodriguez clipped Paulinho and the yellow card came out.  David Luiz sidefooted an incredible free kick over the wall and in from 35 yards and it was party time.  With nothing now to lose, Colombia piled forward and Bacca was put through only to be hammered by Cesar – penalty and a red card surely.  No, just a yellow – fuck off!!!!  Up steps Rodriguez to score his 6^th of the tournament as the lucky Cesar went the wrong way.  The one notable incident before the end was Zuniga steaming into Neymar from behind and with a knee n the back, put Brazil’s only flair player out of the tournament with a fractured vertebra.  Nasty.  Phil Scolari may want to reflect on the fact that you quite often reap what you sow.  He had the balls to complain that Neymar had been hunted down in all their matches and he still decided to appeal Silva’s yellow card on the basis of nothing whatsoever but you know, I’d have done the same if I was him.  Brazil are getting away with murder at this tournament.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but I hope the Germans beat them.

".... and then the complete c**t took me off"

5/7/14

Argentina 1 Belgium 0

Having looked better in the USA game, it was a case of which Belgium turned up today.  On paper they look a better all round side than Argentina but Argentina have the magic man in Messi who is streets ahead of Hazard who is Belgium’s most talented player.  The Argies took the lead on 8 minutes as Messi picked out di Maria and his pass infield was deflected up in the air but in front of Higuain who without breaking stride, lashed it first time past Courtois and into the corner of the net for 1-0.  The sides traded chances without ever looking like adding to the scoreline with Messi putting a free kick over the bar and Mirallas heading a decent chance wide from a Vertonghen cross.  Fellaini was doing his usual in midfield in that he finds it impossible to go near an opposition player without fouling them.  If football had a basketball style disciplinary code whereby you have 5 fouls and then you’re off, then Fellaini woudn’t get past half tie in any game he plays.  Into the second half and Higuain set off on a run from halfway and goes straight for goal, megging Kompany on the way who has bottled it and when presented with just Courtois to beat, Higuain loses composure and hits the bar.  There was little urgency from Belgoim and they only created a couple of chances.  Vertonghen again put in a cross which Fellaini headed over and and when it did eventually get a bit frantic in the last 5 minutes, Lukaku’s pull back was half cleared and Witsel smashed it over the bar from the edge of the penalty area.  In between those two chances, Messi had been put clean through against Courtois but had surprising made a balls of it.  So, 1-0 to Argentina it finished and you can’t help but feel that Belgium flattered to deceive.  Didn’t Januzaj do a lot as well – no, he did sod all.  Overrated perchance. 

Netherlands 0 Costa Rica 0 (Netherlands win 4-2 on pens)

I expect the Dutch were expecting to play Uruguay, Italy, or maybe dear old useless England when the draw was made.  Actually, they were expecting to be knocked out by Spain but here they are playing Costa Rica.  The Costa Rica boys have been superb so far and desperately deserve to be where they are but I had a feeling gong into this that this was one game too far.  The first half though was pretty boring with the best chances falling to the Dutch with Navas pulling off a decent save from van Persie and then being ready to save the rebound from Sneijder.  Sneijder pinged a free kick off the post and with Costa Rica offering so little up front, Van Persie had two great chances in the 2^nd half to score what would surely be the winning goal when first he saw navas again block is near post drive and then the contrived to completely miss a superb cross from Sneijder when it looked easier to score than play the airshot that he did.  It certainly wasn’t RVP’s day as Blind gets down the left, crosses low and RVP at back post, shoots and sees it hit Tejeda who is back on the line and deflect up onto the bar and out.  Extra time is more cagey but Costa Rica have a decent shout for a penalty as Vlaar clumsily fouls Bolanos and though he went down like a sack of shit, there was contact there.  Something has happened to Costa Rica at half time and they have their best chance to score as Umana goes on a mazy and ends up with a clear shot at Cilessen which the keeper superbly keeps out.  There is just enough time for the Dutch to have their head int heir hands again as Sneijder curls in a shot from the left of the penalty area which beats Navas and comes back off the bar.  There are 120 minutes up and Van Gaal brings on Tim Krul in place of Cilessen and he hasn’t touched the ball before it goes to penalties. 

As we all saw, Krul went the right way on every penalty and saved the 2^nd and 4^th and was allowed by the ref to get away with so much gamesmanship that it was all anyone spoke about afterwards.  I wonder if there are any rules as to what happens if the referee red cards a keeper in the shootout?  Unlikely I guess but the Dutch are through to play Argentina.  Many a time I've seen a striker put on in the last minute because he's taken a penalty so why is the substitution such a big deal.  I guess it's a bigger deal for keepers as you live for these moments.  I can't believe Cillesen didn't know it was happening before the game and he'll be back in goal in the semi final.

So, Brazil v Germany and Argentina v Holland.  An all South American Final and you have 2 teams that don’t like each other much – an all European Final and you have 2 teams who don’t like each other much – Voller v Rijkaard 2 perhaps and Dutch banners about Germans nicking their bike.  I’ll stick my neck out and predict an all European final.

So - What's Been Going On Then?

Some People Who Want to Be Here

So, while the World Cup has been going on, what’s been happening at Saints?  All quiet, nothing much... yeah, right!

I went into the World Cup with massive anticipation.  This was because 3 of our players were in the England squad and we also had players with Croatia, Uruguay, France and Japan.  Before it had all started, Rickie Lambert had left for Liverpool and Adam Lallana, Luke Shaw and Dejan Lovren had all been linked to quitting the club.  The anticipation of the World Cup and the extra bonus of so many Saints players being involved had been killed stone dead.  Cheers lads.

While the shitstorm of player departures was brewing from over Brazil way, Saints announced that we were getting bright new shiny floodlights and a bright new shiny manager in Ronald Koeman.  Those old enough to remember will picture him playing in midfield or at centre back for the Dutch national team in the 80s and 90s and scoring lots of goals from open play and dead balls.  I remember him most for the ‘Do I Not Like That’ game with Graham Taylor in the England hotseat where Koeman famously dragged down David Platt when he was last man and wasn’t red carded and 10 minutes later he flipped a free kick over the static David Seaman to confirm England not qualifying for USA ’94.  I hated him... but really should have hated the referee.  His record as a player is staggering and littered with trophies and international caps.  His managerial record is a bit more mixed but he’s managed all of the 3 big Dutch clubs and had experience in Italy and Spain as well as playing under some of the very best managers ever so it couldn’t be better really.  He’s got a much better pedigree than the last manger we had here so that’s a start.  He’s a massive name so will instantly command the respect of the players – if they can be bothered to actually talk to him before they decide to leave.  His first interview was conducted in near perfect English and he vowed that he was going to school to improve it before he joined us – compare and contrast! Hopefully he will be nothing like our last Dutch manager Jan Poortvliet, who talked in a language that no one understood.

We got a 2^nd Koeman as part of the deal with elder brother Erwin joining as assistant manager along with fitness coach Jan Kuitenberg.  They all seem genuinely pleased to be here which sounds like a minimum requirement but it’s nice to know that some people still believe in Southampton FC.

Our players at the World Cup have on the whole not done a lot.  Adam Lallana was left out of the starting XI for the games that mattered in a last minute change as Roy Hodgson succumbed to media pressure to play Sterling and his own conservative desire to play Welbeck ahead of a player who can use both feet and create.  He eventually played as a sub in the first two and started the dead rubber against Costa Rica in which he goat hauled off after an hour.  Shaw just played the Costa Rica match which turned out to be their last acts as Saints players – more on that later.  Dejan Lovren played all 3 games for Croatia in which he gave away a controversial penalty against Brazil, kept a clean sheet against Cameroon who may or may not have been on the take and then was part of a defence that shipped 3 goals in 10 minutes against Mexico as Croatia were knocked out.  Gaston Ramirez came on as a sub for Uruguay against Italy, set up a goal with a corner straight onto Diego Godin’s head and got himself in lots of pictures trying to get Chiellini to cover his shoulder up after Suarez had bitten it.   In their 2^nd Round game against Colombia, he came on as sub to try and save the game and just floated a couple of free kicks straight to the keeper. Maya Yoshida played every game for a very ordinary Japan side and his final act was to be done like a kipper and left on his arse as James Rodriguez beat him and chipped the keeper for the 4^th Colombian goal in a 4-1 defeat for Samurai Blue.  Though he’s only played in a dead rubber game, Morgan Schneiderlin, was very good in it and his France team got further than any of the others so he could come back and have bragging rights in the changing room – well he could if any of the others were still there.

Here’s the rub… as I write, 3 of our original 7 World Cup players have left the club, 2 are strongly rumoured to be going, 1 is being touted about by his agent and 1 has not been in the news at all. 

Luke Shaw has left the building for approximately £30 million and signed for Manchester United and Louis Van Gaal.  He conducted himself in the right way and said nothing to anyone about a move until after he was home from the World Cup.  The only thing he’s done wrong really is to not speak to Ronald Koeman before he went to United but it’s hard to be angry with him really.  Personally I think this is a good deal all round – we gets loads of cash, United get a player who will be their left back for 10 years plus and Shaw gets a massive stage to play on and a huge amount of cash.  Whilst it would probably be better for his career to stay at Saints for another two years – this doesn’t happen these days.  It does make me laugh when United fans come out and say he isn’t worth it because last time I checked, it’s whoever owns the asset that sets the price and the buyer decides to pay it or not.  Paul Scholes says we’re killing English football by charging too much – oh really!  Much better to be a club that doesn’t develop its young English players and just buys in foreign kids.  Saints were good in their praise of Shaw in much the same way as they were for Lambert.  Sorry to see you go but all the best.  Next we have Adam Lallana, team captain.

Clattenburg Calls It Correctly

After the end of our first season back in the Premier League, Adam Lallana signed a 5 year deal and the quote he made was about finishing his career at Saints and not being able to imagine anything else.  He’d had a ropey old season in the Prem, scoring just 3 goals and repeatedly being substituted.  Nigel Adkins had made him captain and despite the repeated substitutions, Mauricio Pochettino kept him in that role.  Last season he was on fire and everything went well, scoring and creating goals and an England call up and being catapulted into the England starting XI as we clamoured for footballers who had skill and could use both feet.  We didn’t think so at the time but it obviously turned him into Billy Bigtime and it appears he soon forgot his words on signing his contract and soon forget how much the club had supported him.  The first person who noticed the change was of course Mark Clattenburg and I unreservedly apologise for any bile I spat his way after the Everton away game.  He’s still a shit referee but his comment of “you’ve changed since you got called up by England” was spot on.  Lallana obviously knows it as well which is why he got the hump.  It was reported at the time that the club complained and not Lallana – does anyone believe that now?  I can imagine him throwing his toys out and demanding the club did something on his behalf.

Fast forward to the last game of the season and the end of season lap of honour and obligatory badge kissing and then it appears that as soon as he got off the pitch he demanded to move to Liverpool who had obviously been tapping him up like they did with Lambert.  He stopped short of handing in a written transfer request though of course as you invalidate various payments if you do that.  Roy Hodgson had already stated that he wanted no club transfer business going on during the World Cup but there was Adam out in Brazil, signing a Liverpool shirt for a fan and getting caught on camera saying he hoped he would be joining.  I hope he got dropped because of this but I think it was more down to Hodgson not having a clue, rather than any strong management, to blame for that.

Les Reed made noises that he thought reconciliation could be reached upon Lallana’s return from the World Cup but then the stories emerged that Adam had said he’d never play for us again – basically going on strike.  No reconciliation and off he went to Liverpool with a terse 2 line statement on the Saints website which may as well have said “good riddance”.

The shocking PR continued on his debut Liverpool press conference where he said he dreamt of playing for Liverpool last season (when he was Saints captain) and then there was a hamfisted attempt at damage limitation in the form of a full page advert in The Echo from a PR company just made things worse.  One big picture of Adam and a few words which looked like they were straight off a cheap greeting card from Clinton's Cards. Like Pochettino, he doesn’t care about what he left behind but unlike Pochettino, I think he’ll regret it later. There are ways of doing things and he did it wrong and he’s going to get slaughtered when he comes down to St Mary’s the disrespectful little twat.  If I could pick one player for Big Vic to steamroller over next season... it would be Billy Bigtime who has totally soured his legacy with a majority of Saints fans.  I could speculate on how well he’ll do for Liverpool and his England prospects as a result of the move but I can’t really be bothered.

Dejan Lovren apparently handed in a transfer request at the end of the season with the story being that he wants Champions League Football.  He had this at Lyon before he joined us and we’re not the kind of club you join if Champions League football is your thing.  Again there are rumours of him going on strike to get his move and rumours that we’ve turned down a £20 million bid from.... surprise surprise, Liverpool.  For me this is interesting because it said to me that Cortese was promising Champions League football within a certain timeframe which he was going to fund with money that wasn’t his and it also says that Lovren was stupid enough to believe it... or maybe it was because no one else wanted him at the time and he kept getting sent off for Lyon who thought he was a liability.  There’s more to play out on this one so watch this space.  His tweet to Luke Shaw which said ‘congratulations on your move’ rather than ‘sorry that you’re leaving us’.  To me, this was a bit of an indicator as to his state of mind, moreso than any speculation via the media.  He’d certainly be tougher to replace than the others.

Morgan Schneiderlin, after his one World Cup appearance for France, gave an interview in which he said that the Saints ‘directors know my intentions’.  This could mean anything but it’s probably bad news.  He’s a class act but it’s a strong area for Saints so I see players like Harrison Reed and James Ward-Prowse stepping up rather than a need to buy big to replace him if he goes.  We also have Big Vic and Corky in that part of the field.  As I write, Morgan is not back from the World Cup so again, there’s more to play out with this one.  Arsenal are hovering, like they always are.

Gaston Ramirez is as usual being linked with every Italian club under the sun and I wouldn’t be surprised if he goes but with if he stays, with Lallana and to a lesser extent Lambert gone, he has the opportunity to step up and be the main man.  The main fulcrum of the attack, the main man on set pieces.  Time to see if you’re good enough and got the right attitude Gaston...

Meanwhile, Maya Yoshida will I’m sure still be with us next season, reprising his role as reserve centre back though Koeman has favoured playing with 3 centre backs before so he may get to play more.  Also, Koeman will know Maya from his Eredivisie days.  Maya isn’t high profile enough to attract bids that we can’t turn down and I can’t imagine him demanding a move anyhow as he seems, unlike the others to be an intelligent honourable sort of guy.

There has inevitably been some flak directed at Katharina Liebherr for not sharing Cortese’s commitment from people who forget whose money it is that bankrolls the club.  Would Lallana, Shaw and Lambert still be at Saints if Cortese was still here? Of course not.  Would we have got any more money for them? No.  Maybe Lallana’s “I get my own way or I’m throwing my toys out of the pram” attitude was a legacy of the former Chairman.

So, Day 1 of training arrived and the Koeman Brothers and Kuitenberg welcomed Sammy lee and Dave Watson (the ex-Barnsley keeper) to the staff.  All the non-World Cup players were there aside from Dani Osvaldo who was ‘ill’, presumed bullshit and Artur Boruc who was getting married.

There are rumours of incoming players like Pelle, Kangolo, Tadic and Van Dijk and it’s just been confirmed that we are going back to red and white stripes for next season.  Happy days.  Despite the unrest and players behaving like dicks, there is still a lot to look forward to, even if Morgan and Dejan are gone in the next few weeks.

For Adam Lallana:

We are Southampton, we don’t care about you.

World Cup 2014 Part 9 - England Post Mortem (without swearing)

I'm useless, me!

Well what a complete and utter unmitigated disaster that was.  Out of the World Cup after two games, out without winning a game, out having played passably for half a game, bottom of the group and in the worst 3 or 4 teams out of the 32 at the tournament.  GARBAGE.

Roy Hodgson of course had a free hit at Euro 2012 and he went with a conservative 4-4-2 formation with Milner and Chamberlain on the wings. Rooney was banned but was of course brought back as soon as he wasn’t and we crashed out but Roy was given a free ride because he was only in the job about a month before the tournament started.  This time it’s all his own work and he has no-one else to blame.  The qualification started terribly and we came to life at the end of it in a very easy group and qualified comfortably enough.

 

The squad was announced and it wasn't bad on the face of it.  There were a couple of shockers in there like Chris Smalling and Frank Lampard but there were some young players like Barkley, Sterling and Shaw so not bad.  He had a team in mind for the first game of the World Cup and there were vague assurances that he’d pick players in form which we all knew was rubbish as Rooney was not in form, nor was Welbeck who were both guaranteed to start.  Adam Lallana, who had had a superb season was pencilled in to start on the right but the press wanted Raheem Sterling on the back of 15 good games at the end of the season.  Despite getting sent off in the last warm-up game, Sterling was picked and Lallana was benched instead of switching to the left and replacing Welbeck.

This was down to Hodgson’s naturally cautious approach.  We are the only team who has players who are ‘defensive wingers’.  In other words, wide players who offer next to nothing going forward but are picked because they work back well, allegedly.  We have James Milner and Danny Welbeck in this role and I guess the theory is that they cover to compensate that both of our full-backs in Johnson and Baines, cannot defend.  To be fair, only one of them ever gets picked to start a game and it’s usually Welbeck but by definition,  it’s negative. 

Liverpool’s fine end of season run had also propelled Jordan Henderson from being a joke player who can’t control a ball to a starting defensive midfielder for England, despite the fact that he doesn’t play this role for Liverpool.  We were chronically short in this area as a natural like Jack Cork was overlooked and aside from Henderson and the ageing Gerrard (also not a natural in this position) we had Jack Wilshere who is a) never fit and b) not a natural in this position and Frank Lampard who is an attacking midfielder who can’t defend and is 35 years old and his legs have gone.  Shocking squad selection.  What a surprise – we got completely outplayed and overrun in this area and Hodgson did nothing.  He didn’t put a 3^rd player in there and he didn’t change the personnel until we were out of the tournament.

Leighton Baines was shocking against Italy but did have the bottle to bring Luke Shaw in for Uruguay – of course not. Henderson and Gerrard were woeful against Italy but did he have the bottle to change it for Uruguay – no. Did we do the same things in the Uruguay game and did we get the same result – yes of course!  Hodgson’s substitutions were a joke a well as he just put on the players he probably felt were unlucky to be left out.  Against Italy, Barkley was brought on, Lallana was brought on, Wilshere was brought on like it was pre-planned as they were all unlucky to not be in the starting line up.  There were no formation changes, nothing different was tried.  In the Uruguay game at 2-1 down he took off Henderson and brought on Rickie Lambert... with 4 minutes to go and we went 2 up front... with 4 minutes to go and we were desperate.  The only bit of decisive management that Hodgson came up with all tournament was to slag off Ross Barkley for losing the ball too much after an energetic and lively cameo appearance.  Yeah, we can’t have players who are exciting and make things happen can we?  Much better to have a team of plodders who play it safe.  Hodgson conveniently overlooks the fact that Rooney gives the ball away more than anyone.

We were poor all over the pitch with the attack missing chances (Sturridge) and giving the ball away constantly (Rooney).  The midfield didn’t close down and neither protected the back for, nor supported the attack and as for the defence.  When we coughed up possession then we were almost always caught in a 4-2-4 formation with no protection for the full backs and the central midfielders not being able to cover all the ground.  Defending is a collective thing and all 4 goals we conceded were shocking.  For Italy’s first we allowed Pirlo to dummy a short corner while we slept and Marchisio was allowed a free shot.  For their second there was no pressure from Baines or Rooney on Candreva as he crossed it and neither of the defensive midfielders got out there. Balotelli was allowed to peel off of Cahill and unimpeded by Johnson, allowed a free header from 5 yards.  Uruguay’s first goal was identical to that one with just a different cast of characters.  Cavani crossed under no pressure, Suarez peeled off of Jagielka and free header.  The second Uruguay goal was straight off of the local park.  Big boot from the keeper, flicked on by Gerrard who took his eye off it, Suarez runs on and scores with no centre back covering round.  Pathetic.  We weren’t a team, we weren’t a unit, we weren’t playing to any plan, we weren’t anything.

We all know that our players are not as good as Sky Sports Hyperbole channel paints them to be.  As a rule, our players are one trick ponies who can’t adapt to anything but what they’re used to, be it conditions or positional changes etc.  I think we have a right to epect a player to be a bit versatile when he's paid £150k a week or whatever.  Where you have players from other countries who can play right back, central midfield and left wing, we have players who can’t perform when they’re moved ‘a bit to the left’.   Our players don’t appear to be trying or playing with any urgency and after an hour, many of them look like they’re blowing out of their backsides.  Not fit enough, not prepared enough.

There’s a general attitude problem.  From the national anthem to the end of the game, players from countries such as Chile, Croatia, Brazil, Uruguay to name but 4, look like they’d be prepared to die for their country and they are certainly going to put 100% into the 90 minutes that’s in front of them.  You get the impression that when their playing careers are over, they will be in the crowd at future tournaments, supporting their country because their country is what matters most.  Even though many will be earning mega-money abroad, there’s a real sense of when they pull on their national teams shirt that they haven’t lost the connection with the man in the street.  No matter how well or badly they do, you get the impression that they want to be able to look the normal supporter in the eye and at least say “I gave it my all” and sleep at night happy in that knowledge.  Do you get that impression with any of the England players?  They'll sleep at night because they don;t give a stuff - they might think they do but do they really? Maybe it’s a society problem in England where you can’t be patriotic or thump your chest in nationalistic pride in case you offend someone.  Can you imagine telling a Croatian or a Chilean that you’re not really allowed to outwardly promote your own nation when in your own nation as it might offend someone who is not from here originally?  I guess it’s the manager’s job to inspire the troops – Roy Hodgson.  Yes.

Our players just care about their clubs – witness the behaviour of Adam Lallana.  He went to the World Cup, probably the only one he’ll ever play in, bleating on about his move to Liverpool and how much he wanted it.  He even signed a Liverpool shirt for a fan when in Brazil and got caught on camera saying he hoped it went through.  I hope that his pre-occupation with this lead to him being dropped by Hodgson but that would imply strong, good management so the chances are that it was just the media clamour to play Sterling and the conservative desire not to drop our defensive winger in Welbeck.

A few managerial failures have been sticking their head above the parapet to have a go including Rent-a-quote Redknapp who did his usual and threw in an accusation without anything to back it up.  Apparently, some players want to get out of international call-ups but he didn’t say who and he didn’t say when.  Even when Steven Gerrard asked him to name names, he didn’t.  The last time Gerrard and Redknapp were in the same sentence was when Harry said that he’d received a text for Gerrard saying how he wished he’d got the England job.  That turned out to be a big lie as well so I wouldn’t believe a word that ever comes out of Redknapp’s mouth for this and a whole host of other reasons.

Then we had dear old Sven who said that if Hodgson was foreign then he’d have got the sack.  Maybe he would have but one thing is for sure; he’d have got the sack if he’d a) wasted a golden generation of players, b) openly touted for the Chelsea job whilst England manager,  c) took turns with his boss to bang his secretary.  Ah Sven – what a genius he was – took the best generation of English footballers for years and totally wasted it, forcing Paul Scholes to retire in the process as he had to accommodate all the big names like Beckham, Gerrard and Lampard. 

Under Ericsson we used to be fine against the Croatia’s and Mexico’s of this world but we would always come up short against anyone from the traditional top tier of nations.  However, Hodgson’s England could only dream of getting a result against the Croatia’s and Mexico’s of this world.  Now we’d struggle against Australia and I reckon we’d be deserved underdogs against the USA.  After the Costa Rica game, Roy did his interview and if he’d come out and said “not good enough” or “we’ve been shocking” or better still “the players and I have to have a damn good look at ourselves as the standard of the performances by England in this tournament have been totally unacceptable”,  then it would at least show a recognition of the problem and a desire to improve.   Instead of that he said,  ‘I’m pleased’.  Pleased with what Roy?  Pleased with bottom of the group, pleased with mediocrity – not even mediocrity – pleased with coming last.  You can’t fix anything unless you acknowledge the problem after a failure and that is what this is.  A complete abject failure and you, Roy Hodgson are the main architect of that failure.  You can blame the players that are available to a degree but if you gave Hodgson James Rodriguez from Colombia – one of the outstanding players from this World Cup, I guarantee he wouldn’t start him in the 10 role.  He’d want Rooney there as he’s undroppable and now he unmoveable so Rodriguez would be competing with Welbeck for the left wing spot which he wouldn’t get as he’s not as much of an athlete.  My point is that even if he had an embarrassment of riches, Hodgson would have no idea.

Greg Dyke is the man in control and he could start the ball rolling on the recovery by getting rid of this abject failure of a manager, one who settles for mediocrity, has no tactical idea and who fails to get the best out of a group of players.  Before the dust had even settled though, there was Greg saying that the managers’ job was safe and therefore condemning us to more of the same in the next tournament in 2 years time.  Great, I can’t wait.  He then said that the motivation in the squad would have been better if Prince Harry had addressed the squad first.  Unbelievable.   Mind you, I’m sure The Ginger Prince could have given a better motivational speech than Roy Hodgson but then so could anyone.  Cheers Greg, can we have a vote of no confidence in you?

How many teams in this World Cup do you reckon we could have beaten in a competitive game?  As far as I’m concerned, the only ones we could have had a shout of beating are South Korea, Honduras, Cameroon and at a push, Australia.   All of these teams in their 3 games showed more dynamism, will to win and commitment than we did.  We’d have been better off not qualifying as this tournament has been a complete waste of time for us but even then, Hodgson would probably still be in charge for the next 2 years.  How bad does it have to be Mr Dyke before you realise that it isn’t working?  Hodgson is a monumental failure and he needs to be treated as the monumental failure that he is and got rid of.  We will qualify for the Euros as it’s practically impossible not to but we haven’t; got a prayer of doing anything in it if Hodgson is in charge.

Much was made of the fact that we had really low expectation as a nation in this tournament.   So, we went in the low expectations and after World Cup 2014, we haven’t even come out with the bare mimimum, which was some hope that the future will be any better.  Personally, I don’t think that’s acceptable and can’t believe Greg Dyke or anyone else does either.  We need a strong manager who is going to make us over-perform, who is not frightened to drop big names if it’s for the benefit of the team, who is prepared to tell some players that just because you earn £200k a week, you’re not the finished article.  That man is not Roy Hodgson – get rid of him.  It can’t possibly get any worse.

**** (Insert your own swear word here)

World Cup 2014 Part 8 - Brazil Shits Itself and Robben Dives into Quarter Finals

Rearrange the Letters in HULK and it spells SHIT (if you change a few)

28/6/14

2^nd Round – Brazil 1 Chile 1 (Brazil win 3-2 on penalties)

The knockout stages started with the host nation in a game which according to manager Scolari, they really didn’t want against Chile.  I love the way Chile approach things – they haven’t got many great individual players but they are so much more than the sum of their parts and they play as if their lives depend on it.  That said, they fell behind on 18 minutes when a cross was flicked on and was bindled into the net at the far post with David Luiz getting the credit.  There is a curious phenomena at this World Cup where the replay proves something quite different and the commentators refuse to alter their original belief.  It’s quite clearly an own goal by Jara who has stuck a leg out but no matter how many times this is shown, it’s still David Luiz’ goal and then FIFA announce that it’s Luiz’ goal.  It ultimately doesn’t matter a shit but Luiz hasn’t even got a touch there.  Against the script and therefore hugely funny was a Chile equalizer before half time. Marcelo took a throw in near his own corner flag and threw it to Hulk who had the first touch of a man wearing concrete wellies.  Aranguiz nicks in and passes infield to Sanchez who, being unmarked as he is, fires it past Cesar and into the far corner.  Great finish but shocking play from Brazil.  Much has been said about bent refereeing favouring the host nation but Howard Webb hasn’t read the script as a long cross picks out Hulk who controls around the shoulder area and mis-hits it into the net off his knee.  It looks perfectly ok and then gets disallowed for handball.  It’s marginal to say the least but fair play to Webb, he believes he’s right and disallows it and shows a yellow card to Hulk.  Scolari is going beserk and you just know that Webb is on his way home now.  Personally I think it’s a harsh decision and if Chile had had a goal disallowed like that then we’d all have been going nuts.  The problem with Brazil is that they have some right shit payers and they keep the quota the same by removing Fred and bringing on Jo who is slightly more mobile but still shite.  Hulk is their most likely forward to score but he mixes up great runs with throwing himself on the ground.  Extra time passes and Brazil collectively shites its pants and Panilla smacks the bar from 25 yards on 119 minutes and we have our first penalty shootout.

The penalty shootout is an average affair and it’s 3-2 to Brazil as Gonzalo Jara takes the fifth Chilean penalty and hits the inside of the post and Brazil are through – just.  Needless to say, Hulk missed.

2^nd Round – Colombia 2 Uruguay 0

Before this game we get word that Luis Suarez has made a statement and it’s that he slipped and kept his balance only by plunging his teeth into the shoulder of Chiellini.  This is about as hilarious as when an MP says that he slipped and fell into that rent boy.  By showing no remorse and no admission that anything was wrong, he should really be slapped with a longer ban whch of course, won’t happen.  To the game itself and Colombia are the better side throughout and a new global star is born as James Rodriguez controls a high ball on his chest with his back to goal, chests is sideways in the same movement and volleys it left footed in off the bar.  It’s a ridiculous goal and put the Colombians 1-0 u after half an hour.  It’s 2-0 straight after half time as the Uruguayans are carved open and Cuadrado cushioned a header back for Rodriguez to score again.  Cuadrado seems to be a very influential player and he’s got nifty dance move as all the Colombians do their thang corner flag.  Ospina made a couple of saves as Uruguay belatedly went for it but Uruguay and their fans with their Suarez masks are gone.  Colombia will be a major threat to Brazil in the quarter finals.

How to Make Sure the Ref Gives It

29/6/14

2^nd Round – Netherlands 2 Mexico 1

The first half of this was interesting without ever really catching fire, unlike anyone who was in the stadium as the temperatures were ridiculous – so much so that we had the first ‘cooling break’ of the tournament after half an hour which gives FIFA delegates a chance to do some spread betting.  Mexico looked the better side but in truth, neither really looked like scoring though the Dutch should have had a penalty when Robben was hacked over twice in one move but not given.  The Mexicans went 1-0 up straight after half time as the ‘useless at Spurs’ Giovani dos Santos lashed in a shot from 30 yards which gave the keeper no chance and sent his manager pogoing round the technical area in celebration.  Mexican keeper Ochoa came into his own at that point and made a series of saves, mainly good reaction stops to efforts fired straight at him.  The best of which was an instinctive block from a close range de Vrij volley which bounced off his hands, onto the post and away.  The second cooling break sw van Gall replace van Persie with Huntelaar which basically heralded a change of tactic to ‘long diagonal ball’.  It worked though with 2 minutes to go as Huntelaaar headed down a cross at the far post and Schnijder, despite being invisible all tournament, fired brilliantly into the bottom corner from 20 yards showing that the keeper is beatable if you stop shooting straight at him.  Extra-time here we come but a last Dutch attack saw them feed Robben who attacked the box, skipped past one lunge and then went down under a tired hack from Marquez.  Has he touched him? yes, is it a dive? yes, should it have been a penalty? In my opinion yes.  Up stepped Huntelaar, 2-1 and we get to hear Chiles calling him van Huntelaar in the post match shambles but the Netherlands march on and the Mexican manager Herrera throws a colossal wobbler but what a legend he has been.

2^nd Round – Costa Rica 1 Greece 1 (Costa Rica win 5-4 on penalties)

Let’s face it, the first half was shit as it always seems to be when Greece are playing and they should have taken the lead on half time as Salpingidis met a superb cross from the left on the full and Navas deflected it wide with his foot.  Five mintes after half time it was the Costa Ricans who took the lead as Fulham reject Bryan Ruiz sidefooted home beautifully from the edge of the box and everyone just watch it rll in.  The should have had a penalty as well for a clear handball a bit later but they handed Greece a lifeline when Duarte lunged in and was sent off for a second yellow. Greece are hardly known for their skills in chasing the game but they now have a chance which they took until the 91^st minute to take as Papasthatopoulos rammed home a rebound.  Extra time and the ten men were now clear 2^nd favourites and Greece had the best chances extra time but it was penalties again.  The Greek manager managed to get himself sent to the stands at this point and there were 7 successful spot kicks with neither keeper getting near any of them until, with Costa Rica leading 4-3, Navas superbly saved Gekas’ kick and Umana casually stroked home the winner.  Costa Rica in the last 8 and the only team they’ve played who they didn’t beat… bloody England.

Keeper Legend

30/6/14

2^nd Round – France 2 Nigeria 0

The biggest surprise of the World Cup is not Costa Rica making the last 8 – it’s been that France haven’t had to send a player home yet.  Nigeria on the face of it should cause them any problems but they do and have the ball in the net as Emunike slides it past Lloris only for a very tight (but correct) offside flag to deny the Africans.  France are playing some decent stuff though and it’s amusing that Paul Pogba is at the centre of it.  This is the guy that Man United had but never gave him a chance and so he left.  Now he’s one of the best central midfielders in Europe and United have Tom Cleverley.  Pogba drives forward and sets up Valbuena who picks him out with the cross but Pogba’s volley is spectacularly kept out by Enyeama.  The seond half sees Nigeria looking like the better side but France creating the chances.  Benzema plays a quick 1-2 to get free and his shot is half blocked by Enyeama and then hacked off the line by Moses then following a corner, the ball finds its way out to Cabaye on the egge of the box and his angled volley hits the bar on the far side with the keeper nowhere.  Enyeama had been having a great game for Nigeria but he handed the game to France on the 80^th minute when he came for a cross, got nowhere near catching it and just flapped it up in the air for Pogba to head into the empty net.  In the last minute, a Valbuena cross was deflected into his own net by Yobo to confirm French passage into the next round to play the winners of ze Germans and Algeria.  For me, the French are still a good bet to win it – they seem solid all over the pitch and don;t have any obvious weaknesses.

2^nd Round – Germany 2 Algeria 1 (after extra time)

Joachim Low seems to have a strange compulsion to play players out of position.  The have centre backs at full back on both sides and Philip Lahm who is one of the best  in the World in either full back position, playing in midfield.  Germany are basically very lethargic and not very good.  Most of their play goes through Mesut Ozil who then gives the ball away.  Algeria look dangerous on their forays forward with Neuer often having to race from his line to compensate for a ponderous back 4.  He’s out and making a superb sliding tackle on Slimani which could easily have resulted in a goal or a red card.  Slimani has the ball in the net as he slides in a Musa cross but he’s offside.  Ze Germans are having chances though and the excellent Rais MBohli pulls of an excellent double save from Mario Gotze.  The bloody keeper is at it again when he somehow blocks a point blank header from Thomas Muller and then is up to smother the rebound from Schurrle.  The reason I say ‘bloody’ keeper is because I have Germany to win in 90 minutes as part of an accumulator.  It goes against every fibre of my being to want ze Germans to win and typically, they are messing me about.  The keeper makes a wonderful finger tip save from Lahm and the 90 minutes are up, the bets are screwed and now I can support Algeria.  As soon as extra time starts they concede a goal as Muller gets down the left, crosses behind Schurrle who manages to drag a leg and flick it into the net past MBohli – could have done that a minute earlier you git.  It’s soon 2-0 as Ozil passes the ball in the right direction to Schurrle.  His shot is blocked by a defender and the rebound falls kindly for Ozil to smash it in the net.  Algeria give it a spirited response and pull one back with a minute to do as Fegouli (who has what looks like a maxi-pad taped to his head) crosses and Djabou rams it into the net on the volley.  Too little too late though and the very average Germans are through to play France.  Algeria go out with their head held high having given it a real go in almost exactly the same way as England didn’t.

I know who you learnt that shit celebration off of

1/7/14

2^nd Round – Argentina 1 Switzerland 0 (after extra time)

I’ve kind of been ignoring Argentina in this World Cup so far as they’ve progressed through a pretty easy group.  Excellent attack, good midfield, dodgy defence.  They surely would have too much for Switzerland but the Swiss have the best chances of the first half as Xhaka hits one from the edge of the box which requires a decent stop from Romero, who then saves the shot from the rebound for good measure.  The keeper gets lucky before half time as Shaquiri plays Drmic though and Romero comes, then stops, then goes back and Drmic made a right balls of it and his attempted chip landed in the keepers arms. Argentina wake up after half time with Higuain having a header tipped over by Benaglio and Messi teeing himself up for a volley from the edge of the box which narrowly clears the bar.  Messi is of course the main threat and some quality dribbling in the box sees him find a yard and fire for the bottom corner but again, Benaglio gets down well to save.  It’s all Argentina at the start of extra time and Benaglio is there again to superbly deny di Maria who is shooting on sight virtually every time he gets the ball.  Its 2 minutes to penalties when Messi picks it up on halfway, skips away from a tackle and slides it right to di Maria who passes it into the far corner of the net.  Great finish and Switzerland are done.... or are they.  Time is up as a cross is swung over, Dzemaili gets his hed to it and it thumps off the base of the post, rebounds back, hits Dzemaili on the knee and trickles wide.  Argentina through but not particularly convincing.

2^nd Round – Belgium 2 USA 1 (after extra time)

Belgium have had enough of Lukaku and dropped him with Devock Origi taking his place.  He has the first shot after 30 seconds and Tim Howard saves it – and so the pattern of this match is established.  The match sees better quality from the Belgians in the face of great spirit by the Diving German’s Yanks but Howard makes save after save after save from Origi, Mirallas and Kompany.  In nearly all cases though, it’s poor finishing and Howard would have been mortified if any of those had beaten him.  The Yanks have a great chance to win it as Dempsey heads down int he box and Waldalowski blazes wide from 5 yards.  It’’s a shocking miss but hte lino has flagged which is odd and he was about 3 yards onside.  0-0 at full time and so we’re on extra time patrol again and like the German game the other night, a goal is soon coming as Lukaku bulldozes down the right, cuts in and pulls it back to de Bruyne who takes a touch, turns and lashes past Howard.  It looks like it’s all over before the first half of extra time is up as another Belgian break ends up with de Bruyne on the left and his pass is perfect for Lukaku to sweep it into the net for 2-0.  From looking dead on the ir feet though, the Yanks rally in the last 15 minutes, get a goal back through a mis-hit volley from Green and then pen Belgium back.  Jones fired narrowly wide and the n a cleverly worked free kick saw the ball break to Dempsey but his te poke was smothered by the onrushing Courtois.  2-1 in the end but a massive effort from the USA who went down with all guns blazing.  How said it is that I’m thinking that England would have little chance against America.  Coach Jurgen is still a massive, massive helmet though.  Belgium through to play Argentina and fair play to them.

For me, the pick of the quarter finals is Brazil v Colombia.  If the referee is fair then I see Colombia winning it to be honest, probably after extra time as I can’t see Brazil dealing with Cuadrado and James Rodriguez. I’m going for France against Germany in what will probably be a dour affair, Netherlands against Costa Rica where the Costa Rica bubble will burst and Argentina against Belgium after extra time.  I never win my accumulators so ignore me.